Have you got any mail?

So what is new? I got a hate mail from a friend. Claps & boohoos. Let me give some context.

Every day we read more than 200 mails morning to evening. Add few more emails on personal mail ids which will take the count to some 250 odd mails to be read every day. By any standard, people who say that this generation has no reading habit. Please refer the “not cooked” statistics. With average length of email being 200 words we are reading 100 pages every day. Add on to this the constant feeds from Facebook, twitter and blogs like this. I say, this generation reads much more than what our elders can imagine. Now how much of this reading is crap is debatable. But few things like a hate mail which I mentioned earlier are super-duper examples of e-waste & crap.

Although, the hate mail is personal, I would like to dissect the psychology of hate mail senders. Some of these may apply to the person who sent me and some may apply to larger audience. Nevertheless, please don’t leave comments like you are the S. Freud reborn as all regular visitors here know, I am humble and modest and most of the times I am proud of it!

Characteristics:

- They lack balls to confront the person on face or over voice and hence retort to mails. And as like deserves like, it is sometimes met with this kind of blog.

- And when you peel the onion one more layer..at a psychological and subconscious levels, if you try to understand the modalities of the emotional behavior coupled with nuances of external behavior and contrast it with their internal personalities, it will become all clear to you (oh my god, I am so good at this :d) that they have a fake sense of ego and attitude which is based on nothing but gas. Barrrrrrr. Yes Fart!!

- These people are dreamers and they dream when they write mail. Dreaming of scenes like the reader of their mail will break down. Cry for 3.5 hours straight. Will not eat for 3 days and will call them 17 times before succumbing to their power of hate mails. Well boohoo…burps and more burps due to overeating!

- And lastly these are confused souls; they would contact us for saying “don’t contact me ever from now on please”. And you are dumbstruck figuring out when in your sleep you went out and made an effort to contact that person!

But having said all this, it is nothing but human to err. Thankfully, god bless America /Microsoft and sony vaio, we have been facilitated with a “delete” button.

I had to write this blog, as I am sure a lot of people would be getting such mails from random lost friends every now and then! So have you got any mail?

What makes you click?

Yes yes, we all love Anushka especially after her transformed new look (read sexier) from Badmash Company. And more so, after her new advertisement which Sony max repeatedly airs after every third over in an IPL match where she asks “What makes you click?”

Hats off to the guys who created this ad, what makes you click..for the most part of my day, this line is always ready to pop out of my head. So this morning, which I should mention for the benefit of my 83 million fans (who drool over my killer looks and then drool again for the way I write), was awesome. The weather was too good for anything bad to happen to anyone. So all in all it was South Bangalore at its best. So after my ‘usual’ work out session which includes 300 push ups, 300 chin ups and 10 KM run followed by heavy weights training, I got ready for office and got in my car. As everyone knows, losing my religion by REM is my all-time favorite song, so radio FM 91.9 decided to play that for me.

And in my usual innocence, I was humming this song and with the same innocence entered a no-entry lane..oopsie. So I realized it as soon as I entered, but then I reminded myself, weather is too good for anything bad to happen so I went ahead. I reach a cross roads through this lane and I find one dude standing with a camera.

Let me tell you something about such dudes. They are dangerous, lethal and always carry a camera. Some people also call them traffic cops. They like to stop people for random reasons and sometimes for such non issues as violating no-entry roads! Huh…anyways, so he comes to my cars and takes out his camera and clicks. For a second, I thought, it is so difficult to be a page 3 celebrity and was pulling out my sunglasses for giving a photogenic pose. Turns out, he was clicking me for violation of a traffic rule.

I was flabbergasted. I was surprised and I blurted out. What make you click? He said, you. I smiled. You are in no-entry lane. Oh man, I hate this tech savvy-ness now. So they upload my pic with number to traffic website and I have to pay the fine for getting my name cleared. Pretty neat I must say, but at the same time painful.

Anyways, I am happy I made someone click today! What makes you click? ;-)

Exercise and Sunday mornings – Show me how to live!!

Yes the heading misguides, looks like a health freak’s article. Well don’t worry, I will always live up to my reputation of disappointing people. Well this blog is based on my conversation with a friend. This is part true; part fiction! All the characters and names are fictitious and any resemblance if any is purely coincidental and intentional. :p


Sunday morning and talking about running is quite a strain..not only on the legs but also on the relaxed mind. Although, I do believe it is a good thing. So I was having this animated discussion with a friend on whether to run this morning and I kind of 'subtly' put across that I am not interested by saying: “I don’t feel like going, you carry on . You have my full mental support. “

And while I was having this conversation, there was only one song running in my head. And ironically, this is one song on my iPod which is on my “running” playlist!

So here goes the conversation:

Rockstar runner: I think I will go for run now!!

Lazy Jack: Someone get me a priest.
To put my mind to bed
This ringing in my head
Is this a cure or is this a disease

Rockstar runner: Ok, so I get it. Last time you ran was to impress me..what has happened to you now?

Lazy Jack: in the afterbirth
on the quiet earth
let this things remind you
you thought you made a man
you better think again
before my role defines you

Rockstar runner: Pathetic, you are so lazy! If there is a competition to be lazy, you will probably come last in that as well as you are so lazy to get up to compete!

Transformed Lazy Jack: and in your waiting hands
i will land
and roll out of my skin
and in your final hours i will stand
ready to begin
ready to begin

So looks like I am all charged up to go for a run..let me get my running gear..

Damn..my iPod is discharged now… anyways…we will go some other time..some other Sunday..MAYBE ;)

Random Musings about "Ifs"

I feel happy that few people have started calling me and have suggested that I should write and write more. They were literally head over heels about whatever I write and think. Ok I made up the last line, but honestly it feels good and special. “Taking Bows”. Thank you, such compliments mean a lot. It makes me believe in myself more and for better!

This post is something I have been thinking ever since I encountered a question while writing answer to Strategic Thinking paper in college. Yeah, sometimes, it’s strange, the mechanics of our mind. The question was “IF” tit for tat strategy will work in a relationship. As prof VNB would have said love changes the payoff matrix. 

Today, I am writing some random stuff springing in my mind.

I was reading from my chart which hangs just above my bed. It is a poem from Rudyard Kipling “If”. Two lines from the poem strike me.

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

I realized, if is a big word and I think of ifs in my life.

If only, I can assert more and say that you can trust me and “Mai Hoon na”, but alas I have thing to let people make up their own god damn minds. Even though, every ounce of my flesh screams “Trust me”.

If only, I can run that one extra mile a day to get that high which come from burning pain in my legs.

If only, I can write more and be proud of it. If only, I can tell my friends more often, that shit happens and move on!

If only, I can sleep for 10 more minutes even after I snooze my alarm 10 times. If only, I can clean my room and get organized.

If only, I can hold that hand and look into those eyes and say things which matter the most. If only, I can be.

If only, I can spend time with friends with whom I have lost touch! If only, I can sing and play songs which are running in my mind all the time.

If only, I don’t have to ever think of ifs.

If only, I can sleep on time!

Peace out!   

Musings of a budding driver!

To the amazement of fans of this blog who silently comment in their minds about what I write, it would come as a pleasant surprise, that I have undertaken the task of driving on Bangalore roads. And for the benefits of the people who hit on my blog, I decided to come up with a list of points which will aid in their survival.

First of all, I sincerely request everyone who drives in Bangalore, to start reading Gita. It goes without saying the old Indian adage of “do your bit and don’t think of results” apply very aptly to Bangalore roads. I sincerely advice you to do things right and leave your safety in the hands of other drivers on the road and in worst case your insurer, if you ever have one! All said and done I am not trying to scare people by saying this; all I am saying is that driving to me is a spiritual experience. I feel closer to god.

For making my second point, I will give a bit of context, I drive very early morning or early evenings when the lanes are empty and my destructive tendencies can cause least damage. However, at any given point of time, the complete selfless natures which I am gifted with come to rescue when I am behind the wheels. To start with respect people who walk on the road, don’t frown or honk as it might be rude, when people come in your way taking a stroll in the middle of the road. I say this with utmost sincerity as any form of honking will be followed by words which will drag half of your family in some ugly conversations. I always remember the famous Beatles song of “Let it Be” while driving.

Anyone vaguely familiar with Bangalore roads will realize the good intentions of having one way streets.  These boards are put up by traffic people to add zing in our otherwise dull lives. Don't stick to the literal meaning and proceed in one direction. In metaphysical terms, it simply means that you cannot proceed in two directions at once. So drive as you like, in reverse throughout, if you are the fussy type.

As everyone knows, sarcasm is the last thing I would ever want to engage in, I must add a positive point also. Rash driving in residential areas has been prevented by providing a "speed breaker"; two for each house. This bump, incidentally, covers the drainage pipes for that residence and is left opened for easy identification by the corporation authorities.

I hope everyone feels more safe and secured armed with this knowledge!

All in all it is always fun to drive here! ;-)

When you live at a place long enough, you are that place!

When you live at a place long enough, you are that place! That is the mood in 701 these days. As the days pass by and we all part our ways to chase what we wanted, we are split between gut wrenching fear about the new and agony of parting and memories of good times.

My millions of silent readers (shh..sniff..no sarcasm here :p), spare my emotional outburst for this post.

To begin with, I doubt, we will ever have the rock nights on Saturdays and Sunday mornings we used to have till now. Banging our heads and playing Guitar till dawn breaks. Needless to say, cold drinks did help us get through the night. J

The mindless invention of totally awesome dude games like Palate, skipping tiles, ingenious magic tricks, lazy chess, flat tennis, gully cricket and carom doubles will be missed. I kind of feel sorry for the world, that it would be deprived of these inventions.

Off late, few dudes in 701 (not me though) also started playing cricket after 1 AM in night till 6 AM after a heavy dose of cold drinks. To my amazement, these dudes find insulting that someone complains about them. But I cannot blame them the culture of 701 runs through their blood and mind you this blood doesn’t run cold!

I would miss incessant chatter patter with our dear neighbour upstairs. The talks and walks of life, office and relationships. I would also miss the incessant knocking on the doors for food or remaining episodes of how I met your mother. Most of all I would miss irritating someone! 

To my regular readers of the blog, it comes as no surprise that I am witty and humorous. (Warning: For cynics and pessimists, don’t frown, buhu, I am those two and get a life, stop judging!!). I suppose, these guys will miss everything about me. As I always say, I am proud of my modesty, they are surely going to miss my humble and silent nature. :p  

Via this post, I would like to highlight, how awesome 701 was and how it has now become an integral part of all our lives. When I am stuffing my boxes for taking to a new place, I remember a clip from Rock Balbao (for the people who haven’t seen Rocky 6, they deserve to go to hell, so log on to torrent and download a pirated version to prevent yourself from going there!).

Rocky: When you stay at a place long enough, you are that place!

And as I drag my final box out of the house, I am leaving a part of me here. 

Peace out! 

The day in Tweets! - Tinka Tinka Sukh

I thought, today was special. I was ranjinitastic everywhere. Discussions. writing. opinions..had it all..trying to sum up my day in tweets for the day....Tinka Tinka Sukh.

Has something changed in bangalore? BTM to electronic city in flat 20 mins. #miracle. On a monday.about 16 hours ago via Mobile Web

Whats with the sun. I am feeling so hot like G6. #rihanna.

Coffee table discussions with #AJ. Right thoughts for wrong thoughts.about 14 hours ago via Mobile Web

Attending RIM #blackberry super apps conference. Looking forward for some gyan and fun.about 14 hours ago via Mobile Web

India set to climb tech ladder. Must read ET article for the day for all associated with tech and india. #economictimesabout 12 hours ago via Mobile Web

#IIMA sets up helpline to curb corruption. To be integrated with ACB. Good step forward.

Sorry guys no link. M on the move and twitter api not working on phone. Its under opinion section on the main site#et


@Shantnu_Nicky i am a mourning person. Oops i mean i am a morning person. ;)So nira radia gets 60 crores for consultancy! I mean what. What the!is lobbying legal in india?#questionabout 9 hours ago via Mobile Web

Infosys 

How do you identify leaders of tomorrow?http://twurl.nl/x413jq #leadershipabout 8 hours ago via webRetweeted by you and 3 others

 jessie_paul 

RT @anandan22: hahahahaha lovely sarcasm RT @HelloMeHippo: Hippo say it be strange that every time wiki take leak it wet others pants.about 8 hours ago via TweetDeckRetweeted by you and 2 others

@harishbijoor picked from one of youe lectures at iimb.innocent but smart and intelligent!about 6 hours ago via Mobile Web in reply to harishbijoor

@ashuduttwhat is your opinion on gujarat ambuja export. I am a long term invester.about 6 hours ago via Mobile Web

1. Tinka tinka sukh at #91.9. good thing in small packages.chrish brown.I wanna see u tonite.about 6 hours ago via Mobile Web
   • Delete

Art of abstraction!

Today, after suggestion from a lot of close friends, decided to upload one of my paintings on blog. Two things to be kept in mind, frist excuse the 2 MP mobile camera clarity and lack of finnese and second, excuse the background of shoes, chair and floor from the painting. I have posted two version, one which I clicked in light (ah! this is just pure build up :) ) and one with little less light!

Few interpretations from people around!
- When you cover the red color with hand the impact changes drastically.
- The smoke like opinions clouds vision. (lack of visibility of red color)
- Effect of good company flows everywhere even to the darkest corners of the room.
- Love clounds everything else.
- and best of all, jalti agarbatti which is what it is :) !!

Anyways, I leave now, making space for some interpretations!

Stochastic pricing – Is this the future?

Freshly out of the Quantitative Methods course and into Quantitative Methods course part 2 in this term, forces me to see the text more in terms of numbers and statistics. Off late one word which catches my fascination is a seemingly complex statistical jargon known as “Stochastic”.
If one traces the roots of the word, the roots lie in Greece and means “Skilled at aiming”, since stochos is a target. In very layman’s terms, it is an approach in which a target value is calculated probalistically based on a combination of variables.

This reminds me of some of the backdated issues of Economist. People are talking of stochastic pricing for Baseball matches. Sounds intriguing to say the least, but makes business sense. And if one thinks through, it is a win-win situation for both the buyer and the seller.

http://www.economist.com/blogs/freeexchange/2009/05/taking_the_hub_out_of_stubhub\

Taking cue from this idea, big cold drinks giant came up with the idea of coming up with a vending machine which will sense the outside temperature and other stuff (read as variables) and come with the price of the can. It was an attempt for stochastic pricing. I am not too sure why the idea was abandoned.

Extending the pricing for IT. One is hearing pricing based on

-          - Number of incidents for Application management.

-          - Number of defects or rather absence of defects for application development.

-          - Availability percentage for application support

Going by the same logic, am I staring at a future where salaries are determined stochastically? ;-)

Let us hope not, but pricing the services and products stochastically is indeed something companies should look forward to. But there are many variables to consider!

Want to do your bit for the country? – Simply Marry???

It was Friday, Christmas morning of 2009. I went out to have my regular cuppa and the first page on DNA asks me to forget Pranab.
http://www.dnaindia.com/money/report_forget-pranab-real-stimulus-is-in-big-fat-indian-wedding_1327247
I sip on and ponder on the headline for a while. The cynic in me immediately says this is all ****- ****. I decided to take on the challenge. Armed with lethal weapons like Google and Google, I carry on. For the benefit of the huge fan base of this blog (don’t try smelling sarcasm here, I have 7845 mails from my fans asking me to begin blogging!), these are some of the facts which were presented.
- Half of India is less than 29 years.
- Marriage contributes around 4% of GDP, which is 3rd largest contributor.
- Average wedding spending 1-15 lakhs for the great Indian Middle Class.
- 200- 600 Crore industry/year spent on weddings.
- Growth is easily double digits (Yes, I said double digit growth).
Looking at these numbers, I am compelled to believe the Indian Growth Story in quite a non-literal sense ;-)
There are few more things which I think the report missed. Thanks to urbanization and moving to nuclear families, the bonding between the couples in on a decline. There are innumerable divorces and quite a lot of remarriages (Read more moolah).
And this is not all; government is milking on this industry as well. Have a look at
http://www.expressindia.com/latest-news/tax-evading-marriage-industry-put-on-tight-leash/258955/
For some my friends of opposite sex, who simply love to be in some marriage, be it anyone’s (literally). It is time to hone your planning skills. There is money for the budding entrepreneurs.
The Hindu puts it best.
http://www.hinduonnet.com/jobs/0108/05290021.htm
I humbly surrender to the analysis and can certify “ALL IS WELL” with the report.
So dear friends,
Marriages may be made in heaven, but the moolah can be made right here.